My life isn't as good as what you think.
I did a post on how bad my life in secondary school was so I never thought of doing another post about it. Furthermore, I don't want to get too personal because I need to put all my readers into consideration.
But since there are so many questions about it, and there are quite a few updates from the older post...I might as well do a new post - in reply to the questions I get all the time.
Disclaimer: I am NOT trying to gain your sympathy. This is just what happened back in my secondary school.
When I was in Sec one, I looked like a kid. I still look like a kid now I KNOW lol but back then, I really looked like I'm 9, even though I was 13.
I was reeeeeally short. I was about 130cm in Sec one. But I had my brother behind me so Sec one was not so bad.
Sec Two was horrible.
I hung out with a few of the naughty girls in class. Some people call them "Ah Lians" but I think they're just noisy and vain.
That was the time when I started out blogging privately. It was a trend back then...remember?
AND that was when everything got a bit more complicated.
Bullying was a lot easier cyberly. Anybody can act as anyone.
The real mean girls in my class started hating on me for no real reason at all. They spammed my chatbox with the meanest comments. Insulting my height, my looks, my 'personality'.
Most of the time, I will be the one being singled out of class by the bullies and got accused for spamming mean comments on their blogs. I never retaliate because retaliation might be the worst idea ever.
You must be thinking "Where the hell are your friends when you got bullied?" - They disappeared.
Sec three came.
If Sec two was horrible, I guess Sec three was out of the world bad.
Sec three was the year we choose our subject combination. We got to a class full of schoolmates we haven't work with.
I wasn't good at making friends so I kind of lost out at that part.
A lot of shit happened.
I was quiet because I was really afraid of making more haters but I guess that was a wrong move.
Everyone hated me even more and thought I was easy to bully.
There was this big group of bully (both guys and girls in the group. I'm okay with the guys now but I guess the girls are still hating on me) in my class and I was one of the unlucky few to be hated on.
The rest are way too personal to be on my blog so I'll skip that part.
Anyway, Sec three was the year that I started blogging publicly.
I blogged about most of my personal things since I didn't have much friends to talk to in real life.
The bullies in my class read my blog ALL THE TIME so they get to see what they can hate on.
I got so many mean comments on my chatbox. The comments were sooooo mean that they made me felt suicidal. Of course, I wasn't bullied just cyberly, but verbally and physically. They threw things at me and got me to do the stupidest things, or things that I can't do with my petite frame. (Happened in lower sec as well)
They pass me notes during lesson occasionally, scolding me for every single thing I do. I couldn't focus in class because of that.
It was 1 vs 10.
Then, the bullies decided to google my name or something and found an old video tutorial I did on YouTube.
I didn't share that video on my blog/twitter/fb because I was afraid things like this will happen. Furthermore, I merely did it for fun because I find it rather interesting to see people make videos and post it on YouTube.
Anyway, they spread my video all around the school.
People laughed at me everywhere I go.
It was so bad that I tried many ways to skip school.
I ran home and cried almost everyday.
I didn't even want to step out of my house.
It was so bad.
That's when I got determined to be better than any of them. I want to look down on them so badly.
So Sec four came, it was a lot better than sec three though I was still in the same class.
I managed to be on good terms with the guys in class and everything turned out a lot better than what I've expected.
There was this period of time when I got along with the girls in class but it was really short.
After Sec four came the long holiday before polytechnic starts.
The girls in my class went out to have a 'stay-cation' together without me. Back then, I was somehow on good terms with them already so I couldn't understand why they didn't call me along.
After that, I gave up trying to blend into the group of girls. After all, secondary school is over and I don't need to please them any longer to survive.
I got more involved into blogging and joined more blog events after making a few blogger friends from there.
Then, I met Rachell.
We weren't very close at first but there was once when we went out together - with Noah and Naomi.
Noah somehow got Rachell to ask Naomi and I out for something so that's how I met Naomi and Noah.
The girls in my class got kind of pissed off after hearing the news that I've been hanging out with my own friends.
They started flaming me on twitter, explaining to everyone how hypocritical I am.
Closed one eye so I couldn't be bothered until now.
I mean, I shouldn't give two fucks since I'm already out of that school.
And they were the ones who were unhappy with me at the very first place.
But anyway, till now, when I bump into the group of girls from my secondary school outside, they will still tease me.
Like I said, retaliation might not work well for these brats so I've been tolerating their childish attitude ever since.
So yes, that's how bad my life is. And this is just PART of it.
To be very honest, I verbally bullied a junior as well lol....when I was sec 4.
I apologize if I sounded really mean but considering what you've done....Well, I guess that's what most people will do if they were in my shoe.
Many also asked why I've never got a boyfriend. I don't even want to bring that issue in because it makes me look even more pathetic wtf.
Apparently, I've been in situations like "Best friend betrayed you and snatch your date away" and like "Dated some good looking guy but forced yourself to tolerate all his bullcrap after he decided not to date you anymore" or something along that line...You get me?
Here's a happy picture of me, to end the above section.
Now on to what I think you should do if you happen to encounter these shits like me.
1) Study.
They will probably laugh at how nerdy you are but that doesn't really hurt as much. After all, you know you'll be smart as hell and have a freaking bright future compared to them.
OR
Nerds probably don't even exist in those mean people's life (which is the best thing ever).
People in school usually never really care about the nerds.
Rather have a boring life, than to have a bad life..Am I right?
2) Ignore them.
How? Read the first point again.
3) Hang out with people who are good in their studies.
That's how I survived my Sec 1/2. I hung out with people who study study study study study all the time to avoid any drama. People like them don't hate on you or judge you as much too.
After a while, the bullies don't disturb me as much anymore.
Most importantly, cheer up and try not to give any fck because you'll see the rainbow after the rain.
Bear in mind - most of us out there are probably suffering the same shit as you (or worse).
Just in case you think my life is good, think again.
Nevertheless, I'm thankful to have whatever I have today. :')
